Language plays a critical role in how we perceive the world.
For example, let’s think about describing age. In English, we say “I am 28 years old.” Am, the present conjugation of the verb “to be,” functions as a definitive descriptor, indicating an unchanging part of identity. I am from Kansas. I am a human being.
In Spanish, we use the temporary version of the verb “to be”— tengo. Yo tengo veintiocho años. I am, temporarily, 28 years. In many Slavic languages, “to me” is used, which gives the signal that something has been given. In Russian we say “Мне двадцать восемь лет” To me (I am given), 28 summers.
Between these languages alone there is a clear difference in how age is perceived: identity, vs. temporary state of being, vs. something you’ve been given.
The words we choose, consciously or not, shape our thoughts, feelings, and influence the way we navigate our lives. When it comes to how we perceive age in particular, our thoughts and feelings are life-altering. Literally.
According to growing bodies of research, people with positive perceptions on aging live an average of 7.5 years longer. They also experience much higher rates of recovery from illness and injury and have better brain performance than their less age-positive counterparts.
Ageism, meaning the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel), and discrimination (how we act) toward others or ourselves based on age, is deeply engrained into our language and culture. Being perceived as “old” is something to be avoided, and our language, from “anti-aging” beauty marketing to belittling boomer jokes, shapes our perceptions of aging.
We can take powerful steps to reduce ageism and improve our quality of life by simply changing the way we talk about aging. Here are some simple swaps:
- Avoid terms with negative connotations, like senior, elderly, aging, or frail. Instead use terms like older adult, older person, or heck, just person! Most of the time we don’t need an age qualifier when discussing people.
- The same concept goes for giving compliments. You do not need to add “for her age” when calling a woman beautiful. You can just say she’s beautiful.
- Instead of using “they” or “them” when referring to other generations, try to use “we” or “us.” For example, you can say “when we are kids, we tend to be picky about our food” or “as we get older, we are at a higher risk for arthritis.” This shows unity—we are all growing older and have been through or will go through other phases of life.
- Do not talk down or use childish “elderspeak” tones. Terms of endearment, like “honey” and “sweetheart,” can also feel condescending and disrespectful. Treat all adults as a peer and equal, regardless of age.
It is important to remember that language and culture are constantly evolving. We don’t have to be perfect when trying to reframe language about aging. Taking a few moments to evaluate our thoughts and think more deeply about language can make the world a happier, easier place for all of us to grow older together.
For more information about ageism, check out these resources from the American Society on Aging, Ashton Applewhite, and Ageism Is Never in Style.
